Living in this world we learn a lot of things. We go through and overcome some really tough times, and that makes us who we are today. Sometimes we like the changes, and sometimes we wish that we just locked ourselves in our bedroom, never walked outside, or answered the phone. Except, we must live with the way we are. Sure, you can change who you are, at this moment. But you can’t change the way things happened, the way they worked out. Which can either scar you for the rest of your life, or not.

In my case, I got over him. But not what he did to me. My trust with anyone is now shot because I feel I will end up the same way every time, cheated on and hurt. It’s hard when you know you loved someone, and they pretty much just give you a giant slap to the face. And I know everyone isn’t like he was/still is, but I feel it will be that way again. You give your heart to someone for them to have it for the rest of their days. Until one day, unexpectedly, you get that phone call, that text, or the “we need to talk” message.

I just wish, the day I met him. I would have not left my house.

Now I must deal with this feeling for the rest of my life.

Thank you so much.

So I'm sitting in my garage with all my friends and it's amazing. I have so many people in my life that I can depend on and have my back. I know my who my true friends are, and who aren't my real friends. That I frankly don't need in my life. I'm sitting next to MY BFF GREG(i love you!) he's always got my back, and even though I haven't talked to him in days! He's my nigga :D I just love my friends! Dinosuars go rawr, says Greg :]

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sucksucksucksucksucksucksuck!
:D
 

I know I'm not the cutest thing ever, I know I'm thick, I know my laugh can get annoying.

But I just want to be in love. I actually want that "High School Romance" thing. I want someone to call mine. I want someone that I can call in the middle of the night just to tell them I was thinking about them, and doesn't care if i call them when I wake up and he's still sleeping to tell him goodmorning. I want someone who will surprise me before I even wake up and be there when I do cause my mama let him in haha. I want someone to ride bikes with me on sunny days, and relax at a park when we get tired. I want someone who will let me wear his coat when I'm freezing, and he holds on to me for warmth. I want someone who will show me off to his friends like I'm the best thing he's ever laid eyes on. I want someone who will sit on the couch with me and argue about whats going to happen in the next scene of a movie. I want someone  who will go to shows with me and headbang/mosh with me. But mostly I want someone who will not be all nervous to show me to his parents, and will get along with my family and friends. I want to give love another shot, because I believe there is someone out there for me. I'm tired of being single, it's getting to be really dumb. Like I see all these people around me with their boyfriend/girlfriend, and I just sit there. Hopefully he'll pop out of somewhere, hopefully.
:D

Life is such a blur as of right now. Why do I feel like I'm not really here on this earth... Why do I feel I'm in a dream, and I'm not waking up? Like I don't feel right, I feel like my life all of a sudden.. is just weird. My life was perfect my Freshman year. That was one amazing year, my sophmore year is pretty much shit. I'm getting more and more friends, which is good I guess. But relationships seriously suck. Like I feel I'm never going to be in another relationship. Like I can't find the "right one" for me. It never feels right. I want someone to come into my life and change the whole way I think. Because how I feel now a days, I'm not really diggin it. Here I've got a word for how I feel, surreal. Or like I'm in somekind of The Truman Show kind of shit. I just need someone to help me out of this. I'm losing it...


I need help, maybe find a state of mind...?
://///

Why do I care so much? If you don't even care at all. I always poor my heart out and I always get one or two word answers. It matters so much to me, because I actually care. But from now on.

Its not up to me anymore,
if you want me in your life
you find a way to put me in there.

Ok so, summer is almost over. Like I don't want to go back to school, but then again I kinda do. This summer hasn't really been the "summer of a lifetime" but it's been good. I've made good with everyone in my life, except the people I really don't care if they like me or not. I'm single, and its suckinnn. Like I've heard that guys think I'm cute and all, but they never make a move. My eyesight is TERRIBLE, I need new glasses ASAP. My dad thinks I'm a dirtbag, but hey whats new. I'm just pretty much, not ready for school.